I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
