apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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