You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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