you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
