So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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