Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize