I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
