the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
