Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
