You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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