For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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