i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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