***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
