I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
