Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
