I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
