i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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