You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
