The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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