A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize