Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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