but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
