xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
