Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
