Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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