new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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