I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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