This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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