my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
not ubering you a puppy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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