fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
bring money and cleavage
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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