he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
