Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
