So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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