Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
