Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
