just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
either way he was missing a nipple.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize