hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
