the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
