Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
