TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize