yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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