well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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