I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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