why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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