Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who died my cat blue again?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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