Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
