I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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