Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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