Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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