i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
