Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
