Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
