ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
