So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
