Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
