Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
this will be a night to untag.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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