I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
